THE MANDATORY FAMILY BLOG

So we have to write about our family in round two. Where do I start? My mama left my papa when I was in the 1st grade because he beat the shit out of her every night. They tried to reconcile, to no avail, and divorced when I was in 2nd grade. This is why I had three 2nd grade teachers. Mama kept leaving papa, hauling my sister and me down to Miami, and then kept taking us back up to Georgia. So I pretty much have had two seperate "lives" since I was 7. My life with papa, and my life with mama. I ended up staying with mama until I was 15. I was a drug addict and alcoholic and she kicked me out and shipped me to papa's to straighten me out. At that point we hated each other. But over the years, we've gotten close again, and now we're like best friends. My papa spoiled the hell out of me when I went to live with him, to make up for the ten or so years he missed out on my childhood. So I'm a daddy's girl, all the way. I get along with both my parents beautifully now. I'm an adult, and all the shit that happened in the past is just that, the past.

I have an older sister, who is even more crazy than I am. She's what you would call the "black sheep" of the family. She had a baby girl when she was 17, raised her for two and a half years, and then gave her up for adoption without telling anyone. Needless to say, no one in the family talks to her. Especially since she got pregnant less than a year later, and kept that baby. And then got pregnant less than a year later, and kept that one. And got pregnant yet again less than a year later, and kept that one. And to make matters worse, the three boys she kept are bi-racial and my entire family, excluding myself and mama, are racist. BUT she ended up losing the boys, too, when she attempted suicide. The state took em away, awarded them back to her, and then she just gave them up. Yeah she sucks.

I also have a little half brother, but my papa denies he's his, so I haven't seen him in like 15 years.

As for my extended family, it just gets weirder and weirder. I have a HUGE family on both mama and papa's side. They're both one of seven, so family reunions are always nuts. But we never get together except for funerals and weddings because everyone hates each other.

As my flamboyantly gay uncle Phillippe says, "We put the FUN in dysfunctional."

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