Shake what she gave ya, I'm talkin bout your mama

pop lock and drop it!

So I have to start by saying I am close to a lot of my family. My sister is one of my best friends, she is the only sibling I have. She is four years older then me, and we live 2 blocks apart. She is the complete opposite from me; always the mother of the group, always the responsible one, she never got in trouble growing up but I got caught everytime I did anything. My parents got divorced when I was in the second grade, and my mom got remarried when I was in the 4th. She married a douche bag and I hated him. He was an asshole, and after many fights and bullshit my mom finally got rid of him (only after I told her I wouldn't be around as long as he was). My dad never got married, and thanks to him I have the life I have now. Without my dad, I wouldn't be in school, I wouldn't have a car, I wouldn't have a job, or an apartment...I would literally have nothing. He opened his own company my senior year in high school, and now I work for him. He has made himself very successful (thank goodness) and he just remodeled his house. I am also close to my aunt (my mom's sister). She is just like my sister, she is the creative director for Mary Kay, and she's awesome. Just to give you a real life time together I am going to share a story...some people might think what the F*@!, but yes these are the types of conversations that happen frequently in my family. My aunt had to put her dog to sleep last weekend, so we had a wake. We were at my aunts house just hanging out, drinking beer, trying not to be sad. It was my mom(Julie), aunt(Susan), my cousin)Justin), and his ex-girlfriend(Lacey). He were sitting around the table and Lacey was telling us how she doesn't do balls...she was explaining (kind of in detail) how some guy asked her to tickle his balls and she didn't understand, so she asked him to explain. He then told her to put his balls in her mouth...she was drunk so she did it...but she doesn't do balls. The story went on to all of use talking about transvestites (sp?)...that wasn't very exciting. Then we brought up the shocker, I don't remember why but we started talking about it and my mom didn't get it. She was trying to really think about "one in the pink, two in the stink" I was pretty uncomfortable trying to explain it, because she kept putting her fingers like it and it just wasn't something my mom should be doing! Then...omg, someone brought up whether or not you excuse yourself to "clean up" when you bring someone home! First of all, I don't want to think about my 51 yr old mother or her sister bringing people home...not even my cousin for that matter! I mean shit! Who talks about that...it got worse when it really went into detail on what you actually say to the person or any of that other bullshit! No thank you...thats MY business what I do, and my mother doesn't need to know! Just to give you an idea about my mom, she loves to tell people her birthday is on 6/9...which it really is, but what mom says that?!?! It's normal for us to have sexual conversations, but never in detail like that! I hope you get the point I am close to my family...we go to happy hour atleast once more like 2 or 3 times a week.

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