Life

So today I got hit with some really sad news. I found out that my best friend's dad passed away this morning. This has been pretty tough on me because I have been close with my best friend's family since I was 5 years old. I lived growing up in a single family home with my mom. My father lived 4 hours away and I would go see him occasionally. Most of the time his priorities were elsewhere and with my step mom and family. Growing up, my older sister and I have always felt neglected by our dad. I can remember countless nights when I would stay at my best friend's house while my mom was going to school or while she was going to work just to make ends meet each month and ultimately provide a better life for my sister and I. While spending so much time at my best friend's house, I became family. Their family also became my second family and that's just how it was. There were so many years during my childhood where my best friend's dad was kind of the only father type figure I had in my life. The summer before starting high school, my mom and I decided to move to VA (from kansas), to be closer to my sister and start a new life. As they years went by, I continued to keep in contact with my best friend's family. After I moved, my best friend turned to drugs and ended up going crazy and is now in prison. I have yet to see him since he has gone crazy and I still cannot believe since I am not around it to be able to believe it. During my high school years, I realized that I was gay. I came out to my whole family and even told my best friend's family. I even came out at school, not by choice, but because I was outdid by my so-called best friend. Everyone that had heard that I was gay was cool with it. The only person who hasn't been cool with it was my dad. This is the reason why I feel that he neglects me. I mean what other reason did he have? I was a straight A student, played 4 varsity sports, vice president of the school, and homecoming king. I worked almost full time and NEVER got into trouble. Even in college today I excel in sports and in the class room and I still never get phone calls or personal letters from him during the holidays. It’s crazy because just the other day, my best friend’s dad had myspaced me to be friends. I remember thinking about all those times when I was younger when he was the only father figure I had in my life. I also remember him telling me how proud he was of me and also how him and his wife told me they accepted me when I told them I was gay and that they still loved me like I was their son. I don’t even know where I was going with this blog. It’s just so sad to know that my best friend and his brothers and sisters dad is gone. Someone who loved his kids so much and would do ANYTHING for them. I wish that my dad cared for me as much as my friends’ dad cared for them.

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